When we think of weddings there are a few images that come automatically to our minds. We may think of churches decorated with beautiful flowers or of groomsmen looking somehow uncomfortable and debonair at the same time in their rented tuxedos. We may think of bridesmaids adorned in dresses that they would never be caught dead in elsewhere or of adorable small children acting as ring bearers and flower girls, thrilled to be the focus of attention for those few moments that they spend walking down the aisle. One image that invariably comes to mind is that of the bride in her white dress and veil carrying a beautiful bouquet of flowers. For some reason, when we think of a wedding, we always think of the wedding bouquet.
The wedding bouquet is a tradition that goes back almost as far as weddings themselves. While it’s obvious that the flowers are a symbol of fertility, the origins of the wedding bouquet and the tradition of throwing the bouquet (thus passing on that fertility) to another available young lady are less clear. Suffice to say that the wedding bouquet is now a time-honored tradition that is observed in most weddings today.
Once just a simple and small collection of flowers, the wedding bouquet has evolved over time to the point where literally hundreds of dollars are now spent on beautifully designed and arranged ornate wedding bouquets. Most modern brides, in fact, will often have two bouquets. One elaborate wedding bouquet is designed to be carried down the aisle during the ceremony and used in photographs while the other is typically smaller and designed to be thrown into the throng of the bride’s available girlfriends who will then proceed to scramble and claw at one another in an attempt to be the lucky girl who “catches” the bouquet and thus becomes the next woman destined to be married.
Modern florists take great pride in the wedding bouquets they design and offer. Rarely is the simple group of daises seen at today’s weddings. Instead, wedding bouquets now consist of a variety of floral designs, including combinations of calla lilies, roses, and sweet pea or traditional white lilies and roses. Even sunflowers have made their way into modern wedding bouquet arrangements.
The advent of the Internet has broadened the spectrum of available options in many industries, and flowers are no exception. The fact that floral arrangements can be designed and ordered online has spurred great competition among florists, causing each to try and outdo the others by offering greater and greater diversity in all of their arrangements, including wedding bouquets. Ultimately this trend is very good for the bride-to-be because it allows for an incredible array of options when it comes time to choose all of the flowers for a wedding, including the all important wedding bouquet. With florists offering so many designs in wedding bouquets and so many florists as close as the living room PC, any prospective bride is sure to find the perfect wedding bouquet to complete her appearance on her Special Day.
Take a moment to think back to when you first met your partner.
Remember how that felt? That warm, sunny glow that seemed to spill over into everything? No doubt your partner did things that weren’t perfect, no doubt they exhibited some of the characteristics then that you find so irritating now.
What changed? Many things I imagine, but significantly, your perspective.
What may have been a minor irritation back then may well be a major flaw by now. Strangely enough, the things people find endearing in their partners to start with can become major frustrations down the track.
At first we like that our partner is different to us, it complements us, balances us. As time goes by, those same differences become flaws.
Jane and Bill have been together a while. Bill used to describe Jane as sensitive, warm and free spirited. He now sees her as over-emotional, soppy and disorganised.
Same traits, different spin. Why? What’s changed?
Bill’s focus and perspective. He used to love how Jane’s personality complemented his. Now it drives him nuts. If he could try and recapture some of his old perspective, he may well see Jane’s so called flaws in a whole new light.
Often what people find so annoying now is the very thing they were drawn to at first. Look at the relationship as objectively as you can. Can you see how you complement each other? How you balance each other out?
Remember as a child creating a whirlpool in a swimming pool?
Constant movement in one direction produced a force that carried you along. You got stuck in a pattern of behaviour. The momentum propelled you forward.
Relationships can be like that, either positively or negatively. They can be propelled by either negative or positive energy. The more negative you create, the more the pattern continues.
Remember in that pool what it was like when you turned around? That pattern was hard to swim against. So too is negativity hard to turn around. But once a pattern is established, the momentum carries you onwards and upwards.
Momentum can be changed two ways – through either thought or action. Thought is not the same as feelings or emotions. These ebb and flow like the tide. Thought is fairly constant.
No doubt you still love your partner on some level, even if you are having problems. When a relationship stumbles, we often try to recapture the emotion. Emotions are fleeting, they are a by product of our thoughts.
Action however, is a powerful way to recapture those feelings. If you act lovingly, your partner responds lovingly, which produces loving feelings. Action first, feeling second.
How do you act lovingly toward your partner? How do you show them how they are loved? Do you know how they liked to be loved? What is important here is how they liked to be loved, not necessarily how you want to express it.
Ask them. You may be surprised. It may be long walks, massage, dinners out, who knows? They do. Don’t assume – ask. It’s a powerful question that deserves a response. Just think how it would feel to be asked that! It shows real commitment to the relationship.
Act as if you feel loving. The loving thoughts will come. Any and every relationship has periods of feeling disconnected. Don’t panic.
It will come back. Choose to focus and concentrate on the positive, fun aspects of your relationship. Give out what you want to receive back.
Keep trying. Good long term relationships see the bad patches through. http://www.saveyourmarriagecourse.com/lifepurpose.html?lnum=2158